I'm @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving.Urine sample was
positive so I nicked the sample.they r now doin me 4 taking the piss

im at the police station.The police caught me & filed a case against me
"possession of good looks".i'm doomed! i need someone ugly 2 bail me
out-so hurry up!

NEWS FLASH: The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say
they have nothing to go on.

NEWSFLASH.. Police arrested 2 kids yesterday: 1 was drinking battery acid the
other was eating fireworks.They charged one and let the one off.

Im not under d affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep.Im not half as thunk as u
drink.I fool so feelish and da drunker i stand here da longer i get

Last night i wanted to send u a msg, but all i could write was: "noh ss!w !".
it didn't make much sense until i read it upside down...

Im not under d affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep.Im not half as thunk as u
drink.I fool so feelish and da drunker i stand here da longer i get

Last night i wanted to send u a msg, but all i could write was: "noh ss!w !".
it didn't make much sense until i read it upside down...